40s

m

balto.

while this may be recieved with a many `duhs`,there ,in case it has not been noticed,there are quite a few good men out `here` that are just as shy as you believing sisters. I say this to say what....? Only that while you may be thinking that what may seem to you as that the market seems bleak, please dont over look the factthat while with much prayer and patience we may seem invisible,we could be right under your noses,the thing youmay `be` looking for .for most shy guys are not in the mindset of trying to harm you .they may just need a little of that validation which God has so richly blessed you with for our sakes.hopingto make at least a little bit of sense,it`sjust not as easy for us.

44

m

md

The word of God says that the path of the just is as a `shining` light which shines more and more until `that perfect day`,yet we `ve got to be willing to be taught how to walk in this light in every aspect of our lives. moral; I met ayoung lady one day .as I was on `my way to see her, I was met by an elderly man .He stopped me and asked me could he have a word with me.I said yes( being careful as the word says ,not to forget to entertain stangers, for thereby ,some have entertained angels unaware), What he said took me for a ride of my life. He told me that there are some things that I just cant have. It threw me ,not knowing him from adam,so I asked him what he meant ,but he just kept repeating it over and over again until he got off of the bus we had gotten on together. oh what warning I missed walking in my darkened carnal mind. I married this woman and all .........! broke loose .seriously ...walk in the spirit people and stay there in every aspect of your lives. Your peace could well depend on it.a3

40

f

uk

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?

Female

Detroit, MI

WELL, I AGREE WITH YOU ALL ITS WHAT YOU MAKE IT IN A RELATIONSHIP. SOMETIME WE PUT OURSELVES IN A POSTION THAT WE KNOW WE NEED NOT TO BE IN AND WE KNOW GOD TOLD US NOT TO BUT WE AS HUMAN DOESN'T LISTEN TO OUR SPIRITUAL PART OF LIFE. IF YOU ARE UP FRONT WITH EACH OTHER AND LET EACH OTHER KNOW WHAT YOU ARE EXPECTING FROM THAT MAN OR WOMAN AND BEING TRUTHFUL WITH ONE ANOTHER, ALSO APPRECIATE THE THINGS THAT YOU DO OR SAY TO EACH OTHER AND REALLY GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BUT KNOW GOD FIRST (AMEN). THAT IS THE FIRST AND FOR MOST THING TO DO IS PUT GOD FIRST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP THAT ANYTHING YOU DO OUR FATHER FROM HEAVEN UP ABOVE GOES FIRST. LET GOD SEND YOU THAT MAN OR WOMAN AND HE WILL SEND THE RIGHT ONE FOR YOU. YOU WILL KNOW YOUR MATE THAT GOD SENT FOR YOU UNTIL THEN KEEP WALKING IN GODS WORDS, ITS HARD BUT THERE IS NOTHING HARD FOR GOD HE MAKES AWAY. I KNOW I'VE BEEN THROUGH THE FIRE. (LOVE YOU ALL)

18

Female

Kalamazoo,MI

Girl you are such a blessing!!! I'm a young woman and newly saved in the blood of Jesus Christ. And the truth is that young woman like in my age range need guidance when it comes to faith and relationships. I believe that's why alot of us miss the mark on love and faith. A lot of women and men don't have the proper imformation on dating for purpose. And on another note, men and women should cherish the simple but important things that you've said like communication and being in faith with the Lord together. See you on TCT has been an wonderful gift. Thanks!!!

33

female

gary,in

i just wanted to say that those seven things are exactly what women want; and though men try to act hard and unconcerned, they too are looking for those things. someone once gave me the four 'c's to a successful marriage--and i would say this goes for any relationship--they are Christ, Commitment, Communication and Compromise. i believe if we can get those four things in order, all else will fall in line.

i also want to say that when individuals get to know themselves first then they will truly know what it is they are looking for in a mate. too many settle for a piece of someone instead of waiting for "the one" to come along. some also make the mistake of thinking someone will complete them. it's no such thing as someone completing u. u should already be complete when u meet that person, and all they're doing is adding to what God has already perfected...God bless

25-30

Female

Southfield, MI

Ok. While I agree that women want these 7 things, I believe that all of the things that women want can be summed up in three things. This is the way that we look for and understand love.

1. We want to fee Wanted
2. We want to feel Appreciated
3. We want to feel Safe.

Expounding on those three things.

1. To feel wanted it to feel like we were a good choice, that you desire us, that you think we're beautiful, that you want to be around us, that we make you happy, that you feel your life is better because of us, that we're an extra special blessing or treat to you, etc. It goes beyond NEEDING us, it's because you genuinely desire to be with us, whether for beauty, brains, personality, kindess, humor, or whatever reasons, but I will say that a big party is that we want and need to feel beautiful. No one wants to be where we're not wanted. No one wants to be "tolorated." And no one wants to be the person that you settle for. Choose us! Choose us over that tall girl or short or thin girl or thick girl, or endowed girl or the light skinned girl or dark skinned girl. Want us more than work or hanging with your boys. Want enough to show us that you want us. (On the flip side, we have to respect men enough to not abuse this or the other 2 things. *smile*)

2. To feel appreciated goes to our need to be needed, to feel valued and recognized, to feel that we have an important place and role in your life and that you acknowledge that. Women who have been affirmed by their parents in their youth, don't have an overwhelming desire for this, it's a given for them. They wouldn't settle for anything less. Women who haven't been affirmed in this way look for affirmation from men for anything or in anyway. That's a generalization of course. Remember, "Woman was made for man" and we are his "helpmeet" deep in our psyche we know this, but if we have to, we'll protect ourselves from feeling abused or like trash - aka unappreciated.

3. We want to feel safe. This means we want to feel like we can let our gaurd down, that we can trust you, that we can be transparent and vulnerable. It also means that we want to feel like you will stand up for us, protect us, take care of our needs (financial, emotional, spiritual, etc). We are strong, but we want a vacation from HAVING to be strong. Feeling safe means that we don't have to fret about you leaving, or cheating. Feeling safe also means that her past has no more power over her. The Bible says it best: Perfect love casts out all fear & Love covers a multitude of sins.

Now here's the tricky part. A damaged woman will settle for the closet she can get to these things. If he dotes on her and spends money on her, she'll put up with abuse or cheating, because she thinks she has 2 of the 3 and she thinks she's safer in a bad realitionship than she is leaving and going for the unknown. She chooses the "safety" of the lie over the fear of having no "love."

The reality is first you have to TRUST God to really ACCEPT GOD's FORGIVENESS, letting go of condemnation. That's the only way to accept God's love. If you can ACCEPT GOD'S LOVE, which gives us those 3 things, then you can LOVE YOURSELF. If you can love yourself, THEN you won't settle for fake love and you'll recognize when someone really does love you.

Of course, brothers have to learn how to love too, but even if they do, it's our responsibility to learn how to accept it and love back.

26

Male

Washington,DC

I feel as though when a man come in a relationship that has dramma from day one,he shouldn't have to take the fire of the flame some other brother started. I appreciate a good woman and I honor and adore her truest thoughts. I would like woman of all color,shapes and sizes to understand that love is an emotion that dwells within one's heart,and that there isn't a time frame on what you should and shouldn't feel. I say that to state if your nice looking have a good head on your shoulder and you find a brother falling for you dont always go on the defense.

26

Female

Fayetteville,NC

Yes, we woman want all of these 7 things. We must remember that we are already complete because when Jesus said it was finished it was finished and all that he has promised us will come to pass I believe that communication is the most important thing in a relationship if you don't communicate then how can you possibly know what kind of heart a person has. Talking is how you get the feel of each other, and yes we most definitely don't need a man who is neither open or honest I agree with all that was said in the article.

27

Female

Rapides Island, Louisiana

A woman definitely wants a man that's not married or committing adultery even in spirit...Many of us do not understand that even looking can cause problems...we can just see that from David from the bible perspective.