Observations on Growing Older


~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them

...but your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good.

Coming home is better!

~When people say you look "Great"...

they add "for your age!"

~When you needed the discount you paid full price.

Now you get discounts on everything ...

movies, hotels, flights.

~You forget names ... but it's OK

because other people forgot

they even knew you!!!

~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose

is now 15 and you have a better chance

of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

~You realize you're never going

to be really good at anything .... especially golf.

~Your husband is counting on you

to remember things you don't remember.

~The things you cared to do,

you don't care to do,

but you care that you

don't care to do them anymore.

~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair

with the TV blaring than he does in bed.

It's called his "pre-sleep".

~Remember when your mother said

"Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"?

Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!

~You used to say,

"I hope my kids GET married ...

Now, "I hope they STAY married!"

~You miss the days when everything worked

with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..

~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem ...

were unheard of and a mouse was something

that made you climb on a table.

~You use more 4 letter words ...

"what?"..."when?" ???

~Now that you can afford

expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere.

~Your husband has a night out with the guys

but he's home by 9:00 P.M. ...next week it will be 8:30 P.M.

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~Now that your husband has retired ...

you'd give anything if he'd find a job!

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet ....

2 of which you will never wear.

~~~~But old is good in some things:

old songs

old movies

And best of all OLD FRIENDS!!

Pondering old age
How do I know that my youth is all spent?
Well, my get up and go has got up and went.
But in spite of it all I am able to grin
when I recall where my get up has been.

Old age is golden-so I've heard it said-
but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed,
with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup,
my eyes on the table until I wake up.

Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,
"Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?"
And I'm happy to say as I close my door,
my friends are the same, perhaps even more.

When I was young, my slippers were red,
I could pick up my heels right over my head.
When I grew older, my slippers were blue,
but still I could dance the whole night through.

But now I am old, my slippers are black,
I walk to the store and puff my way back.
The reason I know my youth is all spent,
my get up and go has got up and went.

But I really don't mind when I think, with a grin,
of all the grand places my get up has been.
Since I have retired from life's competition,
I accommodate myself with complete repetition.

I get up each morning, and dust off my wits,
pick up my paper and read the "obits".
If my name is missing, I know I'm not dead,
so I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed