The economy is so bad ...
by allen 18. October 2009 04:20

The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

The economy is so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

The economy is so bad that CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

The economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

The economy is so bad Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

The economy is so bad McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

The economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

The economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

The economy is so bad Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

The economy is so bad Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

The economy is so bad the Mafia is laying off judges.

and my personal favorite….

The economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

If Obama had half a brain, his butt would be lopsided.
Tip o'the hat to Luke

President Obama is to statesmanship as an Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
Tip o'the hat to Henry

Q. What is Barack Obama's favorite lunch meat?
A. Mao Tse Tongue.
Tip o'the hat to Meyer

The aliens forgot to remove Obama's anal probe.
Tip o'the hat to Elliott

If Barack Obama had been the Commander in Chief of the Sioux and the Cheyenne, George Armstrong Custer would have died of old age.
Tip o'the hat to Dwight


America is the china shop; Obama is the bull.
Tip o'the hat to H. L. Mencken

Q. What would you get if you crossed Albert Einstein with Barack Obama?
A. E = MC Hammer
Tip o'the hat to Stanley

Q. Why did President Obama feel it was necessary for him to apologize to the world and to degrade the United States?
A. Jimmy Carter had laryngitis.
Tip o'the hat to Poetsarena.com

Barack Obama told Oprah Winfrey that he deserves to get a "good, solid B-plus" for his first year as President. He also claimed that Bo, the White House dog, ate the economy.
Tip o'the hat to Angela

The economy is so bad, Bill Gates had to switch to dial up.

The economy is so bad, Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

The economy is so bad, Dr. Seuss rose from the grave to write a new book: Green Eggs and Spam.

The economy is so bad that I went to my bank to get a loan, they said, "What a coincidence! That's just what we were going to ask you!"


The economy is so bad, rapper 50 Cent had to change his name to 10 Cent.

The economy is so bad, Barack Obama changed his slogan to "Maybe We Can!"

The economy is so bad, my ATM gave me an IOU!

The economy is so bad that the highest-paying job in town is jury duty.

The economy is so bad I saw a man in Costco buying one roll of toilet paper.

The economy is so bad that I saw a van full of legal immigrants illegally crossing the border to Mexico.

The economy is so bad, I became a Pastafarian hoping that a meatball will appear to me.


The economy is so bad that parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children.

The economy is so bad that even people who aren't in Barack Obama's cabinet aren't paying taxes.

The economy is so bad I saw a polygamist with only one wife.

The economy is so bad that I saw someone using the sun to get a tan!

The economy is so bad, I saw four CEOs playing miniature golf.


The economy is so bad, Hot Wheels stock is trading higher than GM.

The economy is so bad, Obama met with three small businesses to discuss his Stimulus Plan: GM, Pfizer, and Citigroup.

It's so bad, McDonalds is introducing the 1/4-Ouncer.

The economy's so bad, Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

The economy is so bad, mothers in Ethiopia are telling their children, "Finish your meal! Don't you know there are starving children in the US?"