toolbar powered by Conduit

Visit The New Etater!

Forum is moving to new host!

Etater Public Forum
This Forum is Locked
Author
Comment
The News from Idiot's Branch, WV

Well, here we are! It is cold! I think that this global warming is going to freeze me plum to the bone.


Late Night Jokes from Newsmax.com

Headlines (Scroll down or click the link for the latest jokes):

* The Jay Leno Show
* The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien
* Late Show Top Ten
* Late Show with David Letterman
* The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
* Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

The Jay Leno Show

● It’s hard to believe only 17 shopping days left until Christmas — that’s for women. For men, there’s only one shopping day ‘til Christmas — the day before Christmas.

● According to the New York Times, the Secret Service agents responsible for letting those party crashers into the White house have now been placed on leave and today the party crashers felt so bad for them they called and said, “hey listen, we know how you can get back in.”

● Talk about bad timing. The latest issue of “Golf Digest” magazine features Tiger Woods with President Obama on the cover. I don’t think Michelle is going to let the president hang out with Tiger too much anymore. Back in the White House . . .

● In fact, so many women are coming forward they are now doing a TV show about it called, “Tiger and Kate-Plus Eight.”

The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien

● At a town-hall meeting a student asked President Obama if he would ever consider legalizing drugs to stimulate the economy. Unfortunately, his follow-up question was, “Do you ever hear colors?”

● In Iowa, a large group of people stood outside a Sarah Palin book-signing to urge her to run for president in 2012. The group was known as the Iowa Democratic Party.

● Britney Spears is in the news again. She is denying rumors that she is pregnant. She made a statement and said, “If I were pregnant, these cigarettes would be low-tar.”

Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Ways Tiger Woods Can Improve His Image

10. Crash a State Dinner at the White House
9. Change name from "Tiger" to more adorable "Puppy"
8. Fix this whole healthcare mess
7. Put on a scarf and a hat and sing Christmas carols with Regis
6. Instead of sweatshops in Asia, have Nike merchandise made in a sweatshop right here in the USA
5. Retire, then come back and play for the Vikings
4. Safely land golf cart in the Hudson river
3. Release list of women he did not have sex with
2. Find Osama bin Laden
1. Blame Letterman

Late Show with David Letterman

● Tiger Woods is having some kind of trouble. I used to think golf was boring.

● There’s been a media firestorm. President Obama is sending troops to Afghanistan, but he should be sending them to Tiger Woods’ house.

● According to the CIA, Osama bin Laden periodically sneaks into Afghanistan. Well, a guy’s gotta have fun . . . what happens in Kabul, stays in Kabul.

●The new Sarah Palin memoir is out. Here’s No. 31 of the things more fun than reading the Sarah Palin memoir: falling off a train.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

● Over the weekend a man dressed as Santa Claus robbed a bank. Police described him as armed and merry.

● Witnesses say the man walked into the bank and said, “Ho, ho, hold up your hands.”

● Police say that in an unrelated incident a man robbed another bank wearing a Richard Nixon mask. That’s funny — I thought presidents were supposed to rob us and give money to the banks.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

● Because of the recession, Britain’s Ministry of Defense will no longer investigate UFO sightings. So now it’s up to you, guy sitting at home wearing a tin foil suit.

● While speaking about Bruce Springsteen at the Kennedy center last night, President Obama said, “I’m the president, but he’s The Boss.” Then Biden was like, “Then who the hell is Tony Danza?”

● James Cameron’s new movie “Avatar” comes out next week. People say it will be as successful as “Titanic.” Not the movie, the ship.

Re: The News from Idiot's Branch, WV





Re: The News from Idiot's Branch, WV

contact e-tater@hotmail.com

Top And Bottom Banners Available, Contact Us For Details!