This is a place to open your mind, and say what you feel..not holding back!
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This is a place to open your mind, and say what you feel..not holding back! |
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Chris
May 30, 04 - 9:26 AM |
Inner beauty vs. Outer beauty....which do you value...which would you choose
I believe in inner beauty. Now we live in a world where first impressions often count. You don't make a good first impression, you don't often get a second chance. Part of this comes from the fact that some place their values on outer beauty/looks. You know the chemistry one feels for the other. Chemistry is one part of the equation. I remember my sister complaining in High School about the vast number of guys asking her out. She had trouble discerning their intentions. Did they like her for who she was, or are they only interested in sex. If i guy asked her to a party she said no. It used to drive her crazy. I commented on one of rants. I said you should be thankful because i couldn't get any dates. Her response was not to be jealous. The one who choses you is probably interested in you and not for sex. I never did ask her for an explanation. Probably should have. I have my own experiences with first impressions. I once had someone tell me that when they first met me, there seemed to be nothing to me. I admited to being shy and not out going. The said person did take the time to get to know me. I was surprised because many didn't. This persons comments were an eye opener. It made sense to me. I often wondered why i couldn't get a date. Being a shy and quiet person seemed to make sense. Could i have presented an image of very little? At that time the answer became clear, i had to be more outgoing. I tried to put myself in situations where i could meet more people. As much as tried to be someone i'm not, my true self always came through. A shy quiet person who struggles to start conversations. Somethin i still struggle with today Another way to meet people is through the net. What is unique about the net is that we don't often make first impressions. We can't see their outer beauty. We get to see the inner beauty first. If were discussing on a message board we can form opinions of a persons values and beliefs. And in alot of cases it turns into friendships and some into marraiges. I've had success in developing friendships over the net. For what ever reason i was given a chance to show them who i was as a person. They got to see my inner beauty. Now comes an interesting hypothetical situation. You meet someone on the net. They have values and morals like you. You fall in love with this person because of their inner beauty. You meet them in person BUT you don't feel chemistry/sexual attraction for that person. Remember i'm assuming sexual atraction plays a big part in how we choose our dates in real life. The question i was leading up to relates to inner beauty vs outer beauty. With more and more people meeting on the net, i suspect this type of dilema exists. Placing yourself in the above hypothetical situation, which beauty would you choose? |
Blossom
 May 30th, 2004 - 10:22 PM |
Re: Inner beauty vs. Outer beauty....which do you value...which would you choose
Chris, You raise a very good question. To me the internet is a new tool that allows people to meet each other from far and wide, without 'the first impression' issue of body image. I have discovered great 'spirits' and made great friends that I know will last a long time. I do not think meeting them in person would change the way I feel 'platonically'... However, we are human, and have human reactions (as you state 'chemistry'). Sexual attraction is based on chemistry, and the feeling of falling in love is also 'chemistry' happening inside our bodies. So it can be possible that, for example, I fall in love with someone I have been talking to for months over the internet..and when we meet, he isn't washed, nor has he combed his hair, and is wearing old sweat pants. Will I still want to be with this person? Hmmm...I don't know... Will that change my perception? Maybe yes.. But will that change the fact that our spirits connected? Absolutely not..!! I think the internet helps us figure out a person, who they are inside, without the bias of the physical body... Which is good. Yet, I can also see people being really dissapointed in the end... One has to be truly open in order to trust people over the internet... And remain vigilent for con artists and gamers... It is still a crazy world out there. Yet, if you look at the dating scene...many people have met, fallen in love, and gotten married all because the the computer... Interesting world we live in. It is a complicated issue...because first impressions based on the physical aspects are still very predominant in our society. Yet, I would love to think that no matter what impression I make... The important thing is that I am comfortable with myself on the inside as well as the outside... All in all..it really comes down to..beauty being in the eye of the beholder. Just my thoughts... Blossom 
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