Support group for service families, friends and those who wish to support our Troops
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Parcels 43 - Supporting Our Troops
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| Viewing Page 1 of 1 (Total Posts: 18) |
| Author | Comment |
karenh
May 8, 08 - 3:22 PM |
Personal Question
Hi all, sorry to ask this and i hope you will be honest with me as i know theres alot of mums on here. My eldest, who you know is going to sunnier shores soon is being an absolute s*** and im really upset with him at the mo. Its just seems like hes trying to distance himself from his family and upset everyone, i may be wrong as im a bit fragile at the mo and maybe taking it all the wrong way but i was wondering if anyone else had experienced this and how they got round it or have i just got a total git for son!! 
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Linda Gibson
May 8th, 2008 - 3:26 PM |
Re: Personal Question
Karen I`m sure he`s nothing like a total git!! I think some lads do keep their feelings to themselves, maybe he doesnt want to frighten you any more than you are already.... Jamie was a bit quiet for a few days before he left, but I just made sure we all told him we love him, no matter what... I think its that much scarier because its their first tour, and they dont really know what to expect.. |
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Teresa
May 8th, 2008 - 3:34 PM |
Re: Personal Question
Karen I would say he is frightened and they do tend to behave in strange ways when they are under stress...we always hurt the ones we love the most. Jilly, Sylv and myself have had a few bad times with our lads and I am sure that alot of others will say the same. I know he will think you are a big sop, but just tell him you love him and it would be nice if he could remember that you are his family not the lads in the block...I think they forget sometimes. My lad was all cool untill about half hour before he left us then the tears came and the I don't want to die and the 'why did I join the Army' I could have done anything...ect, I broke my heart out too as did his two best friends who were driving him to the station and his Dad was also blubbering and the little ones. I still get tears when I think about him being away ... i was driving to woodbridge to see the Families Yesturday and I started to blub in the car on the way gust thinking about how I felt last year while he was on tour. You are not alone mandy and hold onto the thought that if we are not where you are now 'we have been' and we are only a call away ...sending you my contcat numbers incase you need a chat at some point or someone at the end of a text message which is offline...My lad won't thank me for the blub bit either...but it does take a real man in my book  
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karenh
May 8th, 2008 - 3:40 PM |
Re: Personal Question
Thanks Linda, i keep trying to tell myself that, told him i was trying to organise a bbq for the weekend and all i got back was that he might be busy and stop trying to run his life for him........ charming. Just feel like im walking on eggshells with him at the mo but determined not to have an arguement (tho its hard lol) as dont want any bad feeling, hes not answering my calls or texts either ....... oops. I keep telling myself i will win mother of the year award sometime 
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karenh
May 8th, 2008 - 3:46 PM |
Re: Personal Question
Thankyou Teresa, i just think its me as im trying to spend as much time with him as i can but hes not interested, wants to be with his mates. I know it will probably be totally different at the airport and i will forgive him for all of it, but just wondered if it was the norm (whatever that is anymore ).xx |
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Linda Gibson
May 8th, 2008 - 4:14 PM |
Re: Personal Question
It is quite difficult, I know, I took 3 weeks off work when he was on his pre tour leave, we had a party, (it was also my other boy Jonny`s 18th) we went down to London to see his sister and aunty, and he spent time down at his Dads. I made sure he saw lots of family and friends before he went away, he never had any particularly close mates at home, all his mates now are in the army, all over the country, so he spent a lot of time at home, which was nice for me...we did have words before he went back from R&R though, he spent his last day with his stepmother and stepsister, I told him he could ruddy well walk to the airport... but we did put things right before he left, and I`m sure Craig will do the same!! 
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Louise
May 8th, 2008 - 4:16 PM |
Re: Personal Question
i'm sure you are already mum of the year, he knows he can always count on you and so perhaps feels that to spend time with his mates might take his mind off it a bit. |
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Linda Gibson
May 8th, 2008 - 4:20 PM |
Re: Personal Question
They always come home to Mum in the end, dont they!!
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Teresa
May 8th, 2008 - 4:36 PM |
Re: Personal Question
The eggshell thing was happening here on and off , we ended up having a big row, he thought something was funny and I didn't and everything came to a head...in a way it was a good thing and i also got the unanswered calls too. They love their mums really though and if you are like me you fall over backwards for him too...mine gets away with more than his older brother ever did.think he is the same age as my lad too and they are at the age when they are finding their feet and often flee the nest and hate the house rules they thought they had left behind when joining up |
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PinkAngel
May 8th, 2008 - 4:37 PM |
Re: Personal Question
Hiya Karen hun , i dont have any children myself so cant really advise you on my own personal experience but i do know alot of military mums and i think they have all been through what you are going through right now at some point with their children, before going on tour both boys and girls. There is no easy way round how they are feeling before they go or how you are feeling to see them go either. Try to remember that the bond between a mother and child is greater than anything else in the world and ultimately it will be you that he will turn to when he needs you the most. Trying to spend as much time as a family together to relax before he goes might help to ease both of your fears. We are always here for you hun if you ever need to chat 
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karenh
May 8th, 2008 - 5:01 PM |
Re: Personal Question
Hi, sorry for delay, mother rang and she had to make the most of her free minutes .!!!!Im really cross with him now, hes just made me eat all the chocolate in the house but i feel better tho a bit sick Thankyou all for the replies and its good to now that im not the only one whos had this, and yes Teresa he does get away far too much with me and admit to spoling him rotten and sometimes forget ive got another son. Ive spoke to mum about it and shes going to have a chat with him tonight as she seems to be the only person he wont talk down to, so fingers crossed. Thankyou to Pink too, i see your on facebook, im really gonna have to find you, any clues
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PinkAngel
May 8th, 2008 - 5:19 PM |
Re: Personal Question
Hiya karen im on Angies friends list if you look me up on there and just add me from there will probably be easier for you as there is a few of us with the same name lol . My name on there isnt Pink its Samantha
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karenh
May 8th, 2008 - 5:34 PM |
Re: Personal Question
Thanks Pink, found you
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Carol
 May 8th, 2008 - 8:19 PM |
Re: Personal Question
Hi Karenh. Ray and myself always used to call Johns mood before deployment as the 'cut off period' John the 'son' was changing to John the 'soldier' . Wanted his mates more than us, was snappy and nasty at times. But he will be ok, he'll apologise when he gets to the sandy place. Before he goes give him plenty of tell him you love him loads, never fall out with him on deployment (hard I know). Give him a big  from me.
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Kenny Garrick
May 9th, 2008 - 4:25 PM |
Re: Personal Question
Karen H, Dont be alarmed I take it this is his first tour and is off to A, he will know by now that it is certainly no picnic over there, incidents are up and for the first time this year the lads are on the offensive gaining new grounds that have to be maintained, he is scared s**tless under tremendous stress does not want to add to your burden of worries and is trying to get his head around all that he has just been told, especially the bad stuff like get your own life assurance and private medical. At this time he needs space to come to terms with his journey ahead knowing there is a possibility that the worst can happen. He is a good lad or he wouldnt be going trust him and give him some space if he needs it. |
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karenh
May 9th, 2008 - 5:08 PM |
Re: Personal Question
Hi Carol, thanks for that, it really is good to know its not me. We,ve had a chat and somewhat cleared the air, so fingers crossed it will stay that way. Thanks also to Kenny, hes going to the other one, not as bad i know, so ive been told, but still worrying none the less. I will just leave him now to get on with it and not push him, he knows im am always here for him whatever. |
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karenh
May 9th, 2008 - 5:45 PM |
Re: Personal Question
That doesnt mean that i belittle the guys and girls doing the job they do wherever they are, its just ive heard its slightly quieter there (for now). Theyre all doing a grand job. God! i do know how to put my foot in it sometimes 
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Teresa
May 9th, 2008 - 6:05 PM |
Re: Personal Question
Karen we all know that both the sandy places are very different... you haven't put your foot in it so don't worry. Nice to see you Kenny, are you coming on our meet up? Did you see I volunteered you for busking too? Hope your M is okay too
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