Why do you appear a little heavier in your Advice column picture than the others.
Donuts ......... Boston Cream.
IM A 32 YO CROSSDRESSER WHO IS SECRETLY WANTING TO BE THE WOMAN I AM 24/7 BUT AM SCARED AND DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT STARTING MY NEW LIFE AS A WOMAN. IM A SIZE 5 IN WOMEN'S CLOTHES AND AM VERY PASSABLE AND AM JUST CONFUSED ABOUT HOW TO START LIVING AS A WOMAN LEGALLY. PLEASE HELP ME OUT.
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You'll need to take the following steps:
Get help from a gender psychologist since you will probably need a letter stating that you intend to live in a different Gender. This will help later.
Start electrolysis (Beard removal) as soon as possible. You'll have to grow your beard stubble in between treatments. Usually this is a first step before you start living as a woman.
See an Endocrinologist for Female Hormones. Your Psychologist may be able to help with a recommendation and letter.
Join a transsexual/transgender Support Group.
Develop a female voice.
Apply to the courts for a legal name change.
Usually you must live one to two years as a woman before surgery.
Research the Internet Trans sites for links to gender change surgeons.
The best of luck to you.
Do all couples get a divorce when they start dealing with mtf issues?
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For Cross dressers divorce rates are low. Its usually just a matter compromising for dressing time in private. To expect more than that such as spousal participation may increase the rate of marriage failure. The key though here is that CD's do not wish to change their sex and are all male afterwards.
In contrast The wife of an MTF is mourning the loss of her husband and her "Man". The relationship completely changes from a man/woman one to a woman/woman one. In almost all cases the woman does not want a lesbian relationship. This creates a conflict for her because often the wife does love her partner as well, but as a man. She married a man and that's what she expects and who she wants to be with. To expect a woman to change her sexual orientation is often asking too much. The gender who we love is hardwired and cannot be changed. It is a deal breaker. Almost all will end in divorce. Yes, there are exceptions but they are very rare and sometimes happen with older couples where the wife is either beyond menopause or child bearing age.
It is not unusual for couples to remain friends after separating. If children are involved therapy is a good idea whether couples stay together or not. In fact Mtf's should see a gender therapist http://www.lauras-playground.com/gender_therapists.htm before making life altering changes such as hormones which should always be taken under a Doctor's care.
Divorce is heartbreaking but the male to female Transsexual often has to make a hard choice especially when suicidal feelings are involved. There is another issue. After taking hormones for a couple years some MTF's find their sexual orientation changing from women to men the closer they get to surgery. While it doesn't happen often it is very possible and has happened before. So no one really can predict who they will like until mind and body become one.
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